Archive for the ‘Animal Jokes’ Category

Steven Wright on dogs

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building…on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he’s gone. I put contact lenses in my dog’s eyes. They had little pictures of cats on [...]

Three very tough mice

Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness. The first says, “I’m so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!” The second says, “Well I’m so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!” Then the third rat gets up [...]

A good chess player

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games [...]

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